


got 180 degrees

by beanpod



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking & Talking, Frat Parties, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:18:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14026998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanpod/pseuds/beanpod
Summary: And Jooheon remembers Kihyun's words—we feel like something's missing,and with a pounding heart wonders if he could be that, if he could be the missing piece in the soft-edged puzzle that is Kihyun and Hoseok.





	got 180 degrees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Baekpedal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekpedal/gifts).



> \+ baekpedal, pal, you had really interesting prompts, but this spoke to me through time and space. your prompt was " _Honestly, Jooheon just wanted a bit of fun and so did they, he just wanted to be in on the ridiculous fun his best friends were. He didn’t know they were together, he didn’t know that he would be sucked into their crazy relationship and truthfully he doesn’t want to leave_ , and i hope i did it (some) justice and that you enjoy the romantic twist, heh. 
> 
> \+ i had so much fun writing this, i honestly loved every second of it, so thank you again baekpedal for the amazing prompt! a huge thank you as well to the exchange mods, this wouldn't have been possible without you guys, and again thanks for being so cool and supportive. biggest thank you yet goes out to S and M, thank you for looking this over for me, this fic wouldn't be the same without you, guys ♥ any remaining mistakes are my own!

There's a cup of questionable beer in his hand and Kihyun's belting out the lyrics to the song Hyungwon's got on remix; Jooheon feels the buzz starting at the back of his head, spreading like warm, bubbly water down the expanse of his shoulders and around his ribcage.

Changkyun's clinging to his other arm and Jooheon's making an effort to keep them both upright against the wall they've been leaning into but Changkyun's not cooperating.

"Jesus, you're a heavy drunk," he mutters, and Changkyun huffs in indignation.

"I am lithe, fuck you," he slurs.

"I'm gonna grab another beer," Jooheon says, dislodging his arm from Changkyun's grip. "Go hang all over Minhyuk for a bit."

Changkyun grumbles a response but does as he's told, and Jooheon makes his slow, slightly tipsy way towards the bar (just a table set up with a lot of alcohol on it, really), where Hoseok's handing out drinks like he's become the official alcohol gatekeeper or something. At least he's big enough to scare freshmen away.

"You drunk?" Hoseok asks as soon as Jooheon reaches for the keg.

"I could be," Jooheon admits with a grin. Hoseok smiles back—he's pretty, pretty in a way Jooheon can't explain sometimes, because honestly speaking everything about Hoseok is rather hard to put into words.

They've been friends for years and Jooheon still struggles with this. It's kind of pathetic, he thinks. He mostly doesn't like thinking about it.

"Oh, there you are," Hoseok's grin is directed somewhere behind Jooheon's shoulder, and then there are arms curling around Jooheon's waist, a pointy chin on his shoulder and warm breath behind his ear. "Is Changkyun okay? He looks gone."

Kihyun's laughter shakes them both, and it makes Jooheon's fingers tighten around his plastic cup a little, enough for some of the beer inside to slosh over the rim when he sways back into Kihyun's hold. No one seems to notice there's now a couple of thumb-sized wet prints on the carpet, so Jooheon forgets about it.

"He's a light-weight," Kihyun says, voice high and breathy, "we should get him out more, build up his resistance."

"Stop abusing my roommate," Jooheon pleads. "He's impossible when he's hungover. There are tears involved every time, and they're mostly mine; I feel like his mother, I swear."

Kihyun laughs, his face buried in the crook of Jooheon's neck and shoulder, and his breath feels nice there, slowly dipping down the neck of his t-shirt, fanning over his shoulder-blades. Across the table, Hoseok throws his head back as he laughs, a long, pale line of skin that makes Jooheon's tummy flutter.

"We should cut him off, then," Hoseok says, and crouches so he can look under the table for something. When he gets back on his feet, he has a bottle of water and he hands it over to Jooheon. "Here, give him this. I'll make sure Minhyuk doesn't slip him more beer."

"Thanks," Jooheon says, but it's hard to do just that because Kihyun's still draped over his back and he's swaying to the music a little, and Jooheon doesn't know how to disentangle himself, or even if he wants to. Besides, Changkyun's ran out of beer already, it's not like he's going to get any more drunk. Jooheon hopes.

"I should get him back to our room," he says, glancing towards where Changkyun and Minhyuk are loudly singing to Rihanna. "Before he passes out on the couch."

Hoseok shakes his head and shrugs, "There are plenty of couches, and Minhyuk looks about ready to pass out, too, he'll probably offer his bed to Changkyun and they can share." Jooheon doesn't miss the way Hoseok looks somewhere in the general area of his shoulder, where he's sure Kihyun is looking back at him. It's like they silently communicate through looks alone and after a beat, Hoseok adds, "And you can stay, too, you know. Hyunwoo's out for the weekend, you can use his bed."

Kihyun nods behind him, his fringe tickling the back of Jooheon's ear. He pats Jooheon's tummy softly. "I'm staying, too. We can share."

"Alright, sure," Jooheon says, "just don't kick me in your sleep, I've heard stories."

Kihyun laughs through his nose, his chest shaking, and Jooheon tries not to lean into the feeling too much, but he's sure he fails spectacularly. Doesn't matter, though, because Kihyun tightens the hold around Jooheon's waist and they just stay there, under Hoseok's watchful gaze and the thrum of the music, the buzz spreading under Jooheon's skin like wildfire.

 

 

It's almost four by the time the party dies down and Hoseok sighs "fuck it, let's just go," and forgets all about his alcohol safekeeping duties. "They're too drunk to even remember this shit is still here," he says, waving vaguely towards the few bottles of assorted drinks still full. "Whatever, it's late and I'm beat. Let's go."

Jooheon and Kihyun follow him up the stairs and once in the third floor, Hoseok leads them into the room he shares with Hyunwoo. It's pretty neat, all things considered, because Jooheon's been here before and this is the first time he can see the carpet. Hyunwoo's side of the room is slightly more cluttered than Hoseok's but it's not an outright mess.

Hoseok's got a dark set of curtains and he pulls them closed with a shove before he starts toeing his shoes off. Hyunwoo's bed is unmade but Jooheon doesn't care as much as he should; he's tired and buzzed and it's warm up here, even if the windows are open and the curtains are flapping with the wind.

"Come on, let's sleep," Kihyun mutters, and drops face-first on Hyunwoo's bed, not even bothering to remove his shoes. He doesn't move again.

Jooheon does take his shoes off, though, and nudges Kihyun out of the way so he can snag the one free pillow and shove it under his head. His eyes are almost closing off when he spots Hoseok across the room, rummaging around his night stand, shirtless and with the front of his jeans undone. Jooheon's mouth waters a little; he's lean and beautifully toned, blurred slightly by the lack of light in the room and the one filtering from the hall through the strip of glass above the door.

Hoseok looks up from his phone and directly at Jooheon and smiles sweetly, very soft, and says, "Go to sleep, Jooheon, it's late."

Jooheon falls asleep in the next breath, his fingers empty, Kihyun's ankle tangling with his in his sleep.

 

 

Jooheon doesn't want to wake up. There are rustling sounds, the hiss of fabric dragging against fabric, the clicking of a zipper's teeth rather loud in the quietness of dawn. It can't be more than a couple hours since he fell asleep, there's no way he's waking up _now_ , he still feels like death crawled into his skull and threw a party.

"You're gonna wake him up," he hears, the barest of whispers, Hoseok's voice scratchy with sleep, and Jooheon's pulse jumps; he's suddenly very awake, and then he blinks and focuses on the bed across the room, where Kihyun chuckles at the back of his throat, a breathy sound that turns into a muffled gasp.

"God, I hope so," he murmurs.

Jooheon's walked in on Changkyun and that kid from his Econ class—what's his name, Hansol, maybe?—sucking face in their room so many times he's numb to the sight anymore. Hyungwon and Minhyuk can barely keep their hands off each other most times and Jooheon's learned to navigate through that like a champ because when they're not dry humping in front of everyone, they're pretty chill to hang out with.

And yet there's something different, so _different_ seeing Kihyun climbing into Hoseok's lap and lean into his space until Hoseok's mouth parts in a breath that Kihyun's right there to catch with the tip of his tongue.

The room's lit enough Jooheon can see the outline of Kihyun's tongue licking into Hoseok's mouth. Jooheon's frozen on the spot, his face half smudged into the pillow and his breath coming slightly unsteady through his mouth; across the room, Hoseok pants into Kihyun's mouth and his grip on Kihyun's hips tightens, knuckles visibly white as they slip under the hem of Kihyun's shirt.

Jooheon clutches at the bedding under him, fingers itching for something—anything, he doesn't really know what.

Kihyun pulls away with a hum and a tiny smile. "I gotta go, my shift starts in thirty minutes," he whispers. He runs a hand through Hoseok's dark hair, and Hoseok closes his eyes, leaning into the touch.

"Okay," he breathes, "call me later, okay? I can pick you up from the hospital. We can get together for dinner or something."

"Sure," Kihyun agrees easily, and climbs off Hoseok's lap, off his bed, and stands in the middle of the room, stretching his arms over his head. He nods towards Jooheon and Jooheon instinctively closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep and not incredibly turned on (and confused, _so_ confused). "Let him sleep a bit more, he doesn't have class today."

Hoseok hums a reply and then there's the sound of another kiss, a lingering one, soft and unhurried, and Jooheon wants to fidget, wants to open his eyes and _see_ , but nerves win this one out because he's not sure he can deal with getting caught. (He also cannot deal with how he feels _about_ getting caught or what the curl of excitement at the idea _means_.)

A beat later, Kihyun chuckles softly and then his steps carry him across the room; he opens and closes the door so softly Jooheon could say he's missed it, but then Hoseok's flopping down on his bed, the springs of his mattress creaking a little, and he lets out the deepest sigh Jooheon's ever heard from him.

He opens his eyes and finds Hoseok on his side, his bare back to Jooheon; his breathing eases off slowly, and Jooheon watches him, the curve of his shoulders, the dip and dimples at the base of his spine, as Hoseok slowly goes back under.

Jooheon has a million questions, starting with why is this his life and ending with how the hell didn't he notice Kihyun and Hoseok were _a thing_. Somewhere in the middle, he wonders what it'd feel like, kissing Kihyun goodbye and curling around Hoseok's back to doze off.

It takes him forever to fall back asleep.

 

 

Jooheon's munching on dry cereal, eyes fixed on the screen of his laptop perched on his knees, when Changkyun grunts and rolls over on his bed across the room. Jooheon spares him a glance and then goes back to the movie he's been trying to watch to keep his mind off things—not that it's worked for shit so far, to be honest.

"I'm dying," Changkyun groans into his pillow. "I'm dying, holy shit, call an ambulance. Call my mother, I gotta say goodbye. Adios, Optimus, my sweet baby fish, I leave you in the capable hands of your godfather Jooheon. Holy _shit_ , what did I _drink—_ "

"You're not dying," Jooheon assures him, bored, mouth still full, "you're just hungover."

"Is there a difference at this point?" Changkyun retorts; he lifts his head just barely to glare at Jooheon. There's drool crusted at the corner of his mouth. He pauses and squints. "Why do you look like death ran you over? What happened?" He gags as he tries to sit up.

Jooheon makes a face, shaking his head. "Nothing happened," he says. He shoves another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and ignores Changkyun and his groaning until he sits up on the bed and fixes Jooheon with a look.

Jooheon's admittedly glad that Changkyun isn't as hungover as he usually gets after a party (he's probably got Minhyuk to thank for that), but he'd like it better if he were sick enough to not notice Jooheon's anxiety from across the room as he surely is catching on right now.

"Come on, spill it," Changkyun says, very gently, like he's not asking at all, like he's giving Jooheon the chance to tell him to fuck off but he's still willing to listen. "You've been weird since you got back from Kappa Sig. What happened?"

Jooheon groans because he'd honestly thought Changkyun was too unconscious to notice him tripping over himself all morning and most of the afternoon. "Nothing happened," he repeats, eyes back on the screen.

He thinks maybe that's what's gotten him so miffed—that nothing happened _with him_ or _to him_ , that everything sort of happened _around him_. Fuck, his stomach turns over at the memory—not in a bad way, definitely not. Maybe this cereal's gone bad.

"Did you want anything to happen?" Changkyun asks, deliberately slow, and Jooheon blanches, almost bites on his tongue in his haste to chew through the cereal so he can swallow and say, "No!" rightfully scandalized because, like, what does Changkyun even _mean_.

Changkyun holds his hands up, placating. "Don't chew my ass off, I'm just genuinely worried that something might have happened and I wasn't there to defend your honor or some shit."

It makes Jooheon crack an unwilling smile. "You were too passed out to be my knight in shining armor, weren't you."

Changkyun sighs, deflating a little. "Hyungwon's a menace," he groans, "I promise, right here and right now, I'm never drinking again." At Jooheon's snort, he says, "Fine, I promise not to drink for what's left of the semester. There, mom, are you happy now?"

"Barely," Jooheon snorts again.

"If you're not gonna tell me what's up, can you at least give me some of that cereal," Changkyun asks, batting his eyelashes and making grabby hands.

Jooheon hands him the bowl silently and then goes back to his movie, or at least what's left of it. He's… fidgety, like when he's drank too much coffee or too many Red Bulls; Jooheon hates how tingly his body feels, his fingertips, the back of his neck, the roof of his mouth, especially when he thinks about _it,_  how the picture of Hoseok and Kihyun making out seems to be permanently stuck to the back of his eyelids and he's presented with it every time he fucking blinks.

It sucks because like this, his fingers can't stay still on his lap. At least when he had the bowl his hands were occupied; now his fingers pick at the blanket pooled around him and then at the material of his sweats and then they tangle together, unable to stay still.

"It's not drugs, is it?" Changkyun asks very seriously, eyes on Jooheon's fidgeting hands.

It helps to settle him, if anything. "Of course not, what the fuck," Jooheon sighs.

"Just checking, man." Changkyun lifts a shoulder. He leaves the empty bowl on Jooheon's nightstand. "Try to stay out of trouble? We're too young and pretty to end up in jail."

Jooheon snorts around a peal of laughter, feels slightly better when Changkyun crawls into bed with him and they finish the movie Jooheon had put on earlier.

 

+

 

"I feel like you've been avoiding me."

Jooheon jumps three feet in the air, clutches at his chest, and nearly drops the cup of coffee he just bought. His knee knocks against the table and he swears under his breath. Kihyun's standing behind him, and he's got a shit-eating grin on his pink, horrible mouth. He's also very close, what with his loud whispering in Jooheon's ear and almost giving him a heart attack in the middle of the library.

"You scared the fuck out of me," Jooheon groans, clutching at his chest with his free hand. For security purposes, he deposits his coffee far from the edge and from his stuff.

"Sorry, didn't mean to," Kihyun smiles again, less teasing this time. He nods to the chair next to Jooheon's and asks, waving a book around, "Mind if I join you for a bit?"

"No, yeah, sure," Jooheon nods, moves his bag from the chair and dumps it on the floor. "I thought you didn't have class on Mondays."

Kihyun nods, "Ah, the professor's got a conference tomorrow so he had us going in today. Which is good because after this I'm gonna take an eight-hour nap. I haven't slept properly since Friday night."

At the mention of Friday night, Jooheon's mouth runs dry. The thing is he can still remember the easy way in which Kihyun had leaned in to kiss Hoseok breathless, can remember Hoseok's softly flushed cheeks as they'd broken apart. He glances at Kihyun for a second and finds him watching him closely, almost curiously, and Jooheon wants to lean in and kiss him a little, find out if he'd be left feeling breathless and flushed like Hoseok had been.

He also wants to look away, grab his stuff and haul ass back to his room where it's (somewhat) safe and not deal with Kihyun and his pretty face and his gentle fingers and his everything-ness right now.

He _hates_ this; hates feeling like this, so out of his depth. And all over, what? A kiss? A kiss that he witnessed between two of his best friends? What kind preposterous bullshit is that.

"Hoseok says you left around ten?" Kihyun prompts.

Jooheon nods, absentmindedly twirling his pen around. "I had to check on Changkyun. He was surprisingly not as sick as I would've expected. I owe Minhyuk, big time." He pauses to take a sip of coffee. "You were gone by the time I got up."

Kihyun nods, opening his book. It looks like a random page, and then it looks like Kihyun isn't even sure what book he's holding. "Uh, yeah, I had a shift at the hospital, I had to clock in early. I didn't kick you in my sleep, did I?" he asks, smiling sideways, kind of rueful at the corners, and Jooheon wants to reach out and run his thumbs over the wrinkles to smooth them out.

"No, you didn't," he says, slow.

"Then why haven't you been answering my texts?" Kihyun asks.

"I've got a mid-term tomorrow, I'm trying my hardest to stay focused. I gave Changkyun my phone so I wouldn't be tempted." It's not a complete lie, per se, because Jooheon's phone is actually back in his room, shoved into one of his night-stand's shelves and not in Changkyun's possession. So, like, it's only 70% a lie.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and pokes him in the side with a long, slender finger. "That's dedication. No wonder you're a top student. Keep it up, Jooheon, make all of us proud but also feel slightly like shit."

Jooheon shakes his head. "It's just this one exam." He puts his pen down and reaches for his coffee again, and at the thought of asking, he feels a shiver run down his spine, but he _has to_ ask, he needs to know if maybe—

"What'd you text me for anyway?" he asks, in the most casual tone he can muster, and it's not much, sadly, because he's never been much of a casual guy.

Kihyun shrugs. "I had yesterday off and Hoseok wanted to binge _The Walking Dead_ , we wanted to know if you'd like to come over."

"Oh." Jooheon swallows, picking at the lid of his cup with a nail.

"Maybe next time you can join us," Kihyun says gently, and nudges Jooheon in the arm lightly with his elbow. "Would you like that, Jooheon?"

Jooheon wonders if they're talking about different things here, but before he can figure it out, he nods, heart beating furiously against his ribs. "Yes, absolutely."

 

+

 

He runs into Hoseok at the gym, which Jooheon only visits when he's antsy and can't sit still, which seems to be happening a lot, lately. The thing is Jooheon isn't really a fan of working out, but he has to admit sweating his ass off on the treadmill for about an hour makes him feel a lot better afterwards, his mind clearer than it's been in days.

It helps, barely, to keep thoughts of Kihyun and Hoseok at bay, though. Mostly because Hoseok's standing nearby looking sweaty and impossible and Jooheon's _weak_.

Hoseok saunters—because that's what he _does_ —his way once Jooheon's stepping off the treadmill, bright with endorphins and a sheen of sweat clinging to his brow. He's stunning in that way guys like him and Hyunwoo are, all muscle and definition and the prettiest smiles to go along with it.

Jooheon secretly hates them both—it's not fair to his system.

"Hey," Hoseok says, smile so wide Jooheon thinks his face might break. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah," Jooheon exhales, breathing heavily still. He swats at his forehead with the sleeve of his hoodie and winces. "Classes have been hectic. How've you been?"

"Great, yeah. Here, looks like you need this more than I do." Hoseok holds up a bottle of water and offers it to Jooheon with a smile. Jooheon takes it and tries not to shiver under his sweaty clothes at the way their fingers brush. He's reminded of that time at the party, drinking cheap beer with Kihyun still wrapped around him and Hoseok smiling softly at them while Jooheon clutched a bottle of water that wasn't even for him in the first place.

He flushes, which doesn't feel as obvious as it would had he not been covered in sweat and red in the face already.

Hoseok scratches at his elbow. "Are you guys coming over for movie night? It's Minhyuk's turn this week. We missed you last Friday."

Ah, yes. Movie night at Kappa Sig. Somehow Jooheon and Changkyun have been roped into it. It's almost never about the movies, though, it's just a lame excuse to chill and drink and smoke without the blaring music. Jooheon missed last week's movie night because he's shit at dealing with emotions like a grown-up and just the thought of Kihyun and Hoseok in the same room as him made him flush to the tip of his ears.

"I had an early class on Saturday, yeah, sorry," Jooheon says sheepishly. At Hoseok's tiny frown he says, "I'm free tonight, though, so I'll be there. I don't know what Changkyun's plans are yet, but he'll probably be there, too."

"You guys can stay over if it gets too late, anyway," Hoseok offers. "Hyunwoo's out for the weekend, there's a free bed."

"Again?" It comes out before Jooheon can really think about it, but it's out anyway and it makes Hoseok chuckle heartily, his cheeks pink and pretty.

"Yeah, again." He snorts and starts making his way towards the lockers, Jooheon a couple steps behind. "Is there anything particular you'd like to drink tonight? I'm heading to the convenience store with Hyungwon in a couple hours."

Scratching at his sweaty neck, Jooheon shrugs. "I'm cool with anything. Whatever you're having is great."

Hoseok eyes him warily, brow a little wrinkled. "Okay, then. I'm gonna hit the showers," he says, thumb jerking over his shoulder towards the other side of the locker room, "I have a Marketing class in, like, thirty minutes."

"Oh," Jooheon breathes, trying very hard not to think about Hoseok and his flushed— _bare—_ skin and steam curling around him, "yeah, okay."

"See you tonight, then?" Hoseok steps close, cups the side of Jooheon's neck and then seems to catch himself; he blinks and his hand moves to the ball of Jooheon's shoulder and he squeezes, smiling a little shyly around his bitten lip but still as bright as ten suns put together, before stepping back to gather his stuff and head for the stalls.

Jooheon, heart pounding so hard it hurts in his ribs, watches him go in silence, and once Hoseok's out of sight, he deflates against the row of lockers, the metal clanking loudly behind him as he thuds his head back, eyes closed and _fucking hell_ , he's not going to survive this.

 

 

Jooheon leans his head on Changkyun's shoulder and absently stares at the TV, where Rapunzel and Eugene have burst into romantic song. If there's someone Jooheon would burst into song with (but not the romantic kind because that'd be weird—the guy's like his _brother_ , come on) it'd be Changkyun—he's a great friend, the best, only took one look at Jooheon's face and made him sit at the end of the couch, away from everyone else. Jooheon had thanked him, in his mind only though, because this way he's left alone with his thoughts (which are a mess) and his emotions (which are not far behind).

Jooheon's tipsy and warm and mellow, the edges of his vision blurry. He takes another sip of beer (his favorite brand, too, which Hoseok had handed to him with a smile and a wink and another hand-on-the-side-of-the-neck thing that made Jooheon's knees turn into jelly) and slumps deeper into the couch, deeper into Changkyun's side, who just pats his cheek gently in response.

Kihyun and Hoseok are on the floor a couple feet away, sharing a blanket. Hoseok's head is pillowed on Kihyun's tummy and they look so _good_ together, so _right_. Jooheon has admittedly spent more time watching them than the movie Minhyuk had chosen, had watched Hoseok's mouth shape the lyrics of a couple songs and Kihyun smile contentedly at the screen while running fingers through Hoseok's dark hair, and Jooheon had _ached,_  in a way that's still unknown to him most days but growing familiar at every sight of them, the flutter in his stomach almost frantic.

Some time later, Changkyun shakes him awake, and Jooheon blinks blearily at his face first and then at Kihyun standing behind him, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He can hear the rest of the guys laughing in the kitchen, Minhyuk's loud and bright laughter and Hyungwon's indignant squeaks.

"How long was I out?" he asks, looking away and running a hand down his face. His mouth is bitter with the aftertaste of beer.

Changkyun makes a humming sound and says, "Probably twenty minutes. Ready to head back?"

"You guys can stay if you want," comes Hoseok's voice, and Jooheon has to crane around Changkyun to see him, still sitting on the floor. "There's enough room."

"Nah," Changkyun says, "it's alright. We'll walk back to the halls. I gotta feed Optimus anyway."

This is how Jooheon finds himself walking down the road leading back to the dorms, hugging himself against the chilly air while Changkyun goes on and on about one of his experiments gone wrong at the main Chem lab a couple of days ago. "—and then he goes, 'what is the chemical formula for "coffee"?' So I just look at him blankly because I know where this is going, and he says, 'CoFe2'. Like, _says it_. I hate him so much, he's lucky he's a great kisser." He pauses with a sigh and then skips closer to Jooheon on the sidewalk, nudges him a little. "So, how's it going with you, huh? Made out with any TAs lately, Jooheon?"

It makes Jooheon crack a laugh. "Sadly, no."

"Come on, I know you're angsting about liking someone, just tell me," Changkyun says, nudging him again. He waggles his eyebrows. "Tell daddy Changkyun everything."

Jooheon wrinkles his nose at this and shakes his head. "That's disgustingly creepy, don't ever say it again."

"Just tell me already."

"Now I don't want to."

Changkyun grabs him in a headlock, which is very fucking uncomfortable while they're both still trying to walk to down the street. Someone's bound to break their neck and Jooheon's got a feeling it might be him. "Tell daddy Changkyun everything, damn it!"

"My _spine,_  damn you, let me go!" It takes a lot of struggling and laughing and a couple well placed tickles for Changkyun to let him go. Jooheon heaves a great sigh and shoves his hands in his jeans' pockets. "You're insufferable."

"So are you," Changkyun sniffs.

They're quiet till they reach their building; Jooheon actually _wants_ to tell him, though, wants to tell him he's been confused and barely keeping it together for the past two weeks because he can't wrap his head around—

Around Kihyun and Hoseok.

It isn't until Changkyun's struggling into his sleeping shirt while also trying to feed his Angelfish that Jooheon asks, "Have you ever liked more than one person at the same time?" before he can think about it too much.

Changkyun sighs, fixing his shirt, and sits on his desk chair, his eyes on little Optimus swimming around in his tank by the corner of his desk. He's quiet for a while, which is pretty weird on his end, and Jooheon fidgets a lot, fingers picking at the ripped knees of his jeans. The buzz is wearing off and all that's left is a tiny (but growing) ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey," Changkyun says, and Jooheon looks up. He smiles at Jooheon gently, "Do you want a beer? I've got a couple in the mini-fridge."

Jooheon huffs a laugh through his nose, scooting up the bed until he's sitting against the wall and facing Changkyun. "Yeah, sure."

There's a lot of creaking as Changkyun extracts his stashed beer from the mini-fridge under his desk. "Here," he says after a while, shoving a can of beer in Jooheon's face. It's ice cold and it makes Jooheon squeak.

"Where were you keeping this, Jesus, I went looking for Gatorade yesterday and didn't see these," Jooheon grumbles. He cracks it open and takes a big gulp—liquid courage and all that.

Changkyun shrugs. "Empty ice cream tub. You're welcome."

They drink in silence for a bit—mostly silence; Changkyun's making cooing noises at Optimus in between sips—and it isn't until Jooheon's feeling pleasantly buzzed again (which still feels a lot different from how he felt back at Kappa Sig, the _good_ kind of different) that he sits up a little on his bed, slumping back onto his pillows, gauging Changkyun from his spot, who kind of looks like he's more interested in looking at his fish than at Jooheon.

A small miracle, truly.

He balances his beer on his tummy and watches it, hand held close in case it topples over.

Changkyun makes a humming noise. "So. Back in our first semester, I think?" He swivels his chair around and props his feet on the end of his bed. Jooheon makes a 'go on' sort of noise and Changkyun does. "There was this girl in my Intro to Psych class, Dawon? She was just really nice, super caring, you know? And so fucking smart, I was honestly intimidated. Like," he sighs at this, dramatic, and he grins, "she was just pretty amazing. Still is, I mean. And then, well, that's around the same time I met Hansol. You've met him, right? He's a great guy, so passionate about—about everything, really."

He tips his head onto the back rest of the chair, eyes on the ceiling. "It was weird at first, kinda confusing, 'cause, like, how can I like two people? Right? How's that even _possible_." He chuckles heartily, takes a lopsided sip of beer. "After a while I realized there's nothing wrong liking two—heck, a hundred people. As long as no one's getting hurt, them or myself, I think it's okay. In any case, I made sure to be honest with them, which kind of goes all ways, you know? Dawon wasn't looking for anything serious and Hansol's…" Changkyun shrugs. "Hansol's in love with being in love, I think. I get it and he gets me."

Jooheon doesn't know what to say to that—to any of that. He's not sure Changkyun's expecting an answer, either, because he's smiling softly to himself and this is the quietest, most honest and open he's ever looked.

"How come you never told me?" he asks, honestly curious.

Changkyun shrugs. "I guess I just… I never thought much about it." He picks at the tab of his beer.

Jooheon sighs, deep and long enough he has to move his beer to safety so he doesn't spill it all over himself. After a heartbeat, he says, looking at the ceiling, "So, like. I like two guys."

"That's cool," Changkyun says, and even though Jooheon isn't looking directly at him, he can hear the smile there.

There's a careful pause here, and Jooheon can appreciate the fact Changkyun isn't asking who Jooheon's crushing on, almost wants to spit the names out himself just so he can be as open as Changkyun's just been with him.

"You're not gonna ask who they are, are you," Jooheon deadpans, eyes narrowing a little.

Changkyun shrugs. "I'm listening if you wanna tell me."

Jooheon groans, throwing an arm over his face; he's so anxious his skin is pulling tight over his bones, prickly and buzzing with more than just the one beer. He flushes under his sleeve and he can _feel_ Changkyun measuring his words from across the room.

Eventually, Changkyun says, rather serious, "Just be careful, okay? Take care of yourself, first and foremost. Promise?"

Jooheon sighs, short, runs almost out of breath as he uncovers his face and sends a grateful look Changkyun's way. "Yes, mom," he mock-grumbles.

Changkyun grins. "That's my boy."

 

+

 

 **kihyun – 13:22  
** _hey jooheon wanna hang out tonight?_  
_havent seen you in ages :( kinda miss your face_  
_friday night movie has been postponed cause some seniors have exams_  
_but we should catch up_  
_ive got coupons for pizza  
and i literally just finished torrenting deadpool_

 **jooheon – 14:10  
** _heyyy sorry was in class_  
_sure, what time?  
want me to get something?_

 **kihyun – 14:13  
** _nah weve got everything covered_  
_come over around 9ish?_  
_oh wait hyungwon says he wants those cheese crackers they sell at the science building?? idk  
ive got a weird roommate feel free to ignore him lord knows i do_

 **jooheon – 14:15  
** _lol i'll get him his crackers, it's fine  
see you later ! _

 

 

The thing is it doesn't occur to Jooheon to text Changkyun to see if he's at Kihyun's already until he's about to walk into Kihyun's hall.

Changkyun texts back a _bich wtf i wasn't invited to that fuck y'all_ and Jooheon doesn't really read it until he's pushing Kihyun's door open, too busy reassuring his mom he's getting enough sleep and protein in him.

Jooheon's been awake for almost fifteen hours because his Software Construction professor wants an update on their final project and Jooheon's been trying to finish the damn thing in time for Monday—he's running on shitty coffee and willpower and his brain is most definitely not at its prime tonight. Which is why it takes a couple of slow seconds to register that it's only Kihyun and Hoseok in Kihyun's room right now, no one else, that this is the _we_ Kihyun meant in his texts and that they're currently making out on Kihyun's bed, Hoseok's hands on Kihyun's hips and Kihyun's lost somewhere under Hoseok's shirt.

They break apart at the same time Jooheon opens his mouth to let out a rather breathless, "Sorry I'm late."

'Break apart' is not really what happens, though, because Hoseok flashes a smile at him and then buries his face, his _mouth_ , pink and slightly swollen, in Kihyun's neck.

Kihyun smiles at Jooheon, a pretty thing, his lips—just as pink as Hoseok's—stretched wide. "Hey, you made it. How was your last class? Physics, right?" He's slightly propped up against his pillows, and his cheeks are flushed, hair a mess. He sounds breathless and Jooheon's going to _die_.

"Yeah." Jooheon swallows, closing the door behind himself on autopilot. "It was fine."

"You look like you haven't slept in a week," Hoseok murmurs. From the depths of Kihyun's neck still. Kihyun smiles at this, extracting his hands from under Hoseok's shirt.

It's out before Jooheon can stop himself, out before he can _think_ , because his brain is on its way to fried and the brain-to-mouth filter is gone along with it, he says, "Didn't know you guys liked an audience," and feels his face flush, heat spreading down his cheeks, his neck, all the way down to the bottom of his stomach, god, even his knees are probably blushing—can knees _even_ blush, just—

 _Fuck_. Can he melt into the floor or is that too much to ask?

Kihyun's face of surprise—eyes slightly wider, mouth parted around a smile—tapers off into something gentler when Hoseok huffs a laugh, pulling away from Kihyun's neck—properly now—to grin at Jooheon, who's still glued to the same spot he was when he first walked in and can't bring himself to move from.

"We don't," Hoseok says simply, grin still in place, "we like _you_."

"Okay," Jooheon says, very smartly, feeling like he's about to keel over. He clutches at the strap of his bag and the tiny bag of crackers he brought for fucking Hyungwon who isn't even here. Damn him, damn everyone. (Except for Changkyun, because he wasn't invited, apparently. He's going to bitch about that for days.)

"I, uh," he says, drops the bag on the closest desk, Kihyun's judging by the heart model on it, "I got Hyungwon his crackers."

"He left about ten minutes ago. He said, and I quote, hoes before bros," Kihyun says, nudging Hoseok off him so he can sit up. His cheeks are pink. "Are you in the mood for Hawaiian or pepperoni, Jooheon?"

Jooheon's heart skips a beat when he realizes that if he agrees to stay it's only going to be the three of them. It's not bad—these are his friends, both Kihyun and Hoseok have been his friends for a while now, and yes, Jooheon might be harboring feelings for them but—but feelings notwithstanding, he misses hanging out with them.

"Oh, I brought some vodka, figured we're already pigging out on junk food, what's the harm in a little booze," Hoseok comments, pulling a bottle of vodka from his bag. He wiggles it and Kihyun shakes his head at him with a fond smile, while Jooheon's lips sort of tug up on their own a little, too.

"Come on, Jooheon, help me with this?" Kihyun asks, waving to the couple boxes of pizza on his nightstand.

Jooheon walks over on heavy feet, his hands sweaty as he pulls his coat off and drops it on Hyungwon's messy bed along with his backpack. Hoseok smiles brightly at him and Kihyun's fingers brush with his as he hands him over a stack of napkins and Jooheon's lungs can't get full enough.

So, there's pizza and booze and they cram together in Kihyun's tiny bed, Kihyun in the middle, his laptop propped on his thighs. They laugh at some lines and 'ooh' and 'aah' at some of the action scenes (Hoseok, mostly, because it turns out it's the first time he's seeing it) and eventually they run out of pizza but not out of vodka.

Jooheon's not sure how it happens—he and Kihyun have been not so quietly whispering commentary and Hoseok's been sending them glares and then Hoseok snatches the laptop away and balances it on his chest with a, "You've already watched it, you're bored, just shut up and let me finish this."

Kihyun chuckles and shrugs, leaning further against Jooheon's shoulder. "He has a thing for Ryan Reynolds. Look at his face, he's so cute. Like a boy with a crush."

"Shut up, I can't listen," Hoseok whines, his knee moving to nudge against Kihyun's leg.

"Ryan Reynolds _is_ good looking," Jooheon agrees.

"Oh god, not you, too," Kihyun grumbles, and snatches the bottle from Jooheon's weak grasp. He takes a long swig, winces as he swallows, and Jooheon can't look away from his face, the dip of his eyelids and the fan of his eyelashes, the pout in his lips.

Jooheon's _not_ drunk. Vodka makes everything slow, hazy, slightly blurry. Jooheon's not _drunk_. He can recite his last paper (which he aced, by the way) on nuclear decay without missing a beat and without slurring any of the hardcore words.

"You look really tired," Kihyun comments after a while, handing the bottle back. Jooheon takes it with a sigh, takes a swig just to prove himself he can. "Have you been sleeping well? I kinda feel bad now for having asked you to come over when you could've been sleeping."

"It's okay," Jooheon assures, shrugging. "Professors grate on everyone's nerves on principle." He chuckles when Hoseok makes a whimpering sound, explosions coming from the tiny speakers of Kihyun's laptop. "I could nap for about ten hours, though."

So, Jooheon's not sure how it happens, but he ends up with his head on Kihyun's lap, tired and drunkenly (yes, he is drunk now, because vodka might make everything slow and hazy but still creeps up on you and _fucks you up_ when you least expect it and, really, Jooheon should _know_ this by now, what the fuck) complaining about college life and exams and projects and essays and, "I fucking _hate_ Physics, hyung, oh my god."

Hoseok—who'd come to lie down by Jooheon's side after moving Kihyun's laptop to the safety of his desk and has his head on Jooheon's tummy—chuckles softly and threads their fingers together, thumb catching on the knobs of Jooheon's knuckles. "The hard life of an engineering major."

"You'd feel my pain if you were taking it, too," Jooheon mumbles. "The TA is a dick, too."

Kihyun's fingers in Jooheon's hair are distracting. He says, though, "Wish you wouldn't work yourself so hard like this," and it takes forever (about five seconds, okay, sshh) for Jooheon to realize Kihyun's lips are pressed to his forehead, soft and chaste and warm.

It makes Jooheon flush, but he can barely feel it under all the vodka. "You're kissing my forehead," he points out, very eloquently. Hoseok rolls over and muffles his laughter in Jooheon's stomach, which tickles a whole fucking lot, so he squirms a little until Hoseok (somewhat) stops.

Kihyun huffs a soft laugh, pulling back a little so he can peer down at Jooheon. "Do you not want me to kiss your forehead?"

"I don't mind," Jooheon says, looking up at him and he's—he's so soft, so lovely, everything about Kihyun is _lovely_ ; even with his sharp cheekbones and his pointy chin and his tilted lips, he's the softest person Jooheon's ever met. His hand, the one not being held by a still giggling Hoseok, reaches up to touch the top of Kihyun's sharp cheek, knuckles gentle on the skin there. "You can kiss me." Jooheon says this looking at Kihyun's lips and something in his chest catches fire.

"Okay," Kihyun breathes, his lips tugging up. Hoseok tightens his hold on Jooheon's fingers, and Jooheon can feel his smile pressed to his tummy, bright like Kihyun's eyes.

Jooheon stops thinking and pulls Kihyun in for a kiss by the back of his neck, tiny, just a press of lips, dry and chaste, slightly awkward from this angle. Hoseok's fingers are in his hair a second later; Jooheon can feel the swipe of a thumb over his cheek, Hoseok scooting closer until his head is on Jooheon's chest and Jooheon's lungs squeeze so tight it hurts to breathe, heart going a mile a second right in Hoseok's ear.

Jooheon wakes up about six hours later sandwiched between Hoseok and Kihyun. There's an incessant buzzing coming from the pocket of his jeans and Jooheon's eyes pry open about ten seconds after the last buzz, and next to him, Hoseok does the same, although slightly slower, sleep still clinging to his long, long lashes, pink lips parted in soft exhalation.

"Shit," Jooheon whispers, a lot of sentiment in one word.

"What time is it," Hoseok mumbles.

From behind Jooheon, comes Kihyun's scratchy voice with a, "A bit after eight, shut up, go back to sleep."

"Shit," Jooheon says again, and the buzzing of his phone starts again, "Oh, shit, I gotta go."

There are flying elbows and a lot of grunting and eventually Jooheon's standing by the side of the bed trying to put on his shoes without having to crouch while simultaneously trying to comb through his hair with his fingers. Kihyun and Hoseok sit up slowly, both looking at Jooheon cautiously, and Jooheon's heart flutters anxiously because he doesn't regret a thing—the kissing, the _kissing_ , god, there was a lot of kissing happening on this bed last night—and he doesn't want them to think he does but can't bring himself to say anything.

"I have to go," he says smartly, licking his lips and looking at the point of contact between Hoseok and Kihyun's shoulders, because it's easier than looking at their eyes. "I have—had?—a meeting with the Physics TA at eight. I really gotta run. He's going to kill me."

"Okay," Kihyun says with a small nod, smiling a little, mostly sideways. "It's okay, Jooheon."

It feels like he means everything else—everything that happened last night, all of it, Jooheon feels like Kihyun's talking about that, and can't help but feel a little warm at the reassurance even though he was a hundred percent sure he didn't need it in the first place.

"I'll see you guys later?" he asks, can't help the hopeful tone at the end.

"Of course," Hoseok says, eyes puffy with sleep, mouth still red from Kihyun, from Jooheon. He smiles, dropping his head on Kihyun's shoulder. "Say hi to Sungjae. Call if you need help? I'll sock him over the head for you."

It makes Jooheon smile back. "Got it."

 

+

 

Jooheon goes to class, writes a few essays, works on his projects, and in the back of his mind, at all times, is the thought of Hoseok, of Kihyun, their fingers slotted lazily between Jooheon's, Kihyun's lips on his forehead and Hoseok's on his neck. He barely has time to talk to them, busy with shit that keeps piling up, coming at him from literally nowhere because it's not like he leaves assignments till last minute.

He sees Kihyun in passing, though, a Thursday afternoon at the cafeteria as he's trying to pay for a sandwich while literally trying to inhale it because he's already late for Physics and this will have to make do.

It's been six days since they kissed. Not that Jooheon's, like, keeping track.

Kihyun smiles at him from across the hall, lip caught between his teeth, and sends a tiny nod his way; Jooheon smiles back around a mouthful of chicken teriyaki, his fingers clutching at the plastic wrap and itchy for something else entirely. Kihyun waves him off with a soft smile, nodding to Hyungwon and Minhyuk, seated at a table and already fighting each other for the one plate of fries. He shrugs, a _what you gonna do?_ and Jooheon rolls his eyes, trying not to laugh.

He leaves with another smile and later finds a text from Kihyun that says, _good luck in class, jooheonnie! make us proud x_ and another one from Hoseok that offers, _i will punch sungjae in the dick if he gives you shit i swear i will, kihyun might try to stop me but i am fast and he's tiny lbr_ and Jooheon laughs so hard he can't quite cover a snort with the back of his hand and professor Koo threatens to take points from his quiz like this is fucking Hogwarts.

 _can you punch old man koo instead?_ he asks Hoseok, and the reply is immediate,

_anything for you, jooheon :) <3 _

It makes Jooheon smile so hard it's like his face is trying not only to defy the laws of professor Koo but also the laws of fucking Physics. Koo only shakes his head exasperatedly and goes back to his explanation of electricity and magnetism, because _of course_ they're covering that this week. It's only fitting.

He doesn't freak out, though. For the first time in weeks, the thought of them doesn't make his tummy curl with anxiety, instead it feels like a hundred tiny butterflies are about to take off right from the center of his chest.

He smiles a lot, is the thing, because the texting is—it's nice, Jooheon has to admit, because this is all very nice and casual and cool.

Except Jooheon's never been much of a casual guy.

This is when The Crisis starts.

Friday night after his Physics class finds Jooheon staring at his phone and Hoseok's last text, which says, _hey are you coming to movie night? it's kihyun's turn to pick and i need backup before we have another mcu debacle :D_. Jooheon stares at the words and thinks of what to say, how to say it, whether to say it or not, and in the end can't even bring himself to type shit because his fingers are shaking too much.

It's _ridiculous_.

He pockets his phone and hauls ass back to his room, a little relieved that Changkyun isn't back yet. He drops on Changkyun's bed because it's closer to the door, watches Optimus swim lazily around his replica of SpongeBob's pineapple house, and just—lies there.

After possibly five minutes of quiet wallowing and trying to decipher weather that stain in the ceiling looks like a demon evil baby or just a regular baby, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and stares at the last text in his inbox. He sighs deeply.

 **jooheon – 19:53  
** _don't think i can make it tonight sorry_  
_i have an essay and the deadline's tmr @ noon  
sorry_

**hoseok – 19:54  
** _hey that's fine don't worry_  
_good luck with your essay, call if you need help_  
_:)  
x_

Changkyun walks in a couple of minutes later, laptop bag over one shoulder and laundry bag over the other. He takes one look at Jooheon and sighs. "You better not have jerked off on my bed, Lee Jooheon. That's a violation of the Bro Code and I _will_ take you to court."

Jooheon doesn't even have the energy to play offended. "I haven't."

"Did you at least feed Optimus?" Changkyun asks, dumping his laundry somewhere in his closet. At Jooheon's lazy shake of the head, he groans, throwing his hands up. "I'm out all day, working my ass off to support this room-hold and you can't even feed our child? Do you want me di-bro-ce you? I will _sue_ you so hard, I swear, I know people in law school willing to pull an Elle Woods."

Jooheon sighs. "You're so dramatic. Why aren't you majoring in Drama again?"

"They're not ready for my talent, sadly," Changkyun sighs back. He drops onto Jooheon's bed, eyes Jooheon funnily. "So, what's up? Why are you dripping teenage angst all over my recently washed sheets?"

Jooheon doesn't even have the energy to _think_. He hugs one of Changkyun's pillows to his chest. "I hooked up with Hoseok," he says. Changkyun makes a sound of surprise and then Jooheon adds, " _And_ Kihyun," and Changkyun's eyes get so big Jooheon's worried they might fall out of their sockets at some point.

It's strangely disappointing when they don't.

"Holy shit," Changkyun breathes, awed. "That sounds hot as fuck. Is that why you're all mopey? Because you hooked up with two dudes—? Oh, wait," Changkyun blinks, pointing a finger at Jooheon, "are they the guys you're crushing on? Oh, it all makes _sense_ now, doesn't it."

"Like, no, it wasn't even a hook-up, we just… there was a lot of kissing. Maybe some… groping? No one was naked, though, we just—" Jooheon sputters pathetically, and then he sits up. "What do you mean it all makes sense now anyway? What the fuck."

"You three may think you're chill about stuff but you really aren't." At Jooheon's expression, Changkyun just shrugs.

Jooheon sighs and drops back onto the bed. He glares at the ceiling. "I'm not— _moping_ ," he says. "I'm just confused."

"It's okay to be confused," Changkyun reassures.

Jooheon makes a distressed sound and rolls onto his stomach. "I might be panicking because I don't know what it means, I don't know if it was—I don't think I wanted it to be a one-time thing, you know." It all comes out rushed and messy and Changkyun had better caught that because there's no way in hell Jooheon's saying it again.

After what feels like two frozen ages, Changkyun says, "Okay. Have you guys talked about it?"

Jooheon shrugs. "There hasn't been time. I just," he sighs, and although he doesn't mean to because this is just going to be used against him later, he pouts at Changkyun, "I really like them, you know. Both of them. I just, I don't know."

Changkyun gets off Jooheon's bed so he can crawl into his own and consequently on top of Jooheon himself. He's pretty sure the knee in the stomach is completely on purpose and uncalled for. When they're cuddled to the best of their abilities, Changkyun's arm under Jooheon's head, he says, "You know, this is all pointless unless you talk to them. It's nice that you're telling me this, but there's nothing _I_ can do other than point out the obvious. You gotta talk to them, man."

"That sounds _so_ easy," Jooheon deadpans. He slaps Changkyun's stomach for good measure.

"Ow, don't," Changkyun whines. He exhales loudly and pats Jooheon's head. "Stop overthinking, don't even _under_ think it. Just—for once, just _feel_ , go with your gut. If it goes well, we'll get drunk. If it doesn't, we'll _definitely_ get drunk. How's that sound?"

Changkyun's too wise. But Jooheon listens and lets himself hope.

 

+

 

His plans to spend Saturday lazing around (Jooheon's already worked on most of his essays and projects for the week so he can allow himself some chill-time, thanks) are literally knocked over at around 5pm. Jooheon eyes the door distrustfully and then glances at Changkyun, who just blinks back at him innocently as he crawls out of his blankets-and-pillows nest.

"Oh, hey, Kihyun hyung, Hoseok hyung," Changkyun says, a sly tilt to his voice as he opens the door. "Fancy seeing you here."

Jooheon's been meaning to finish _Stranger Things_ and he's even got Changkyun to let him borrow his laptop because it's slightly better than his for streaming even with their crappy university WiFi. At the mention of Kihyun and Hoseok, though, he shuts the damn thing so fast he catches his pinky finger with the lid. It stings like a bitch and it's going to _bruise_.

"You guys wanna hang out?" Kihyun asks, and he's poking his head past the crack in the door and Changkyun's shoulder. Jooheon doesn't like to make stuff up but he's 80% sure Kihyun's eyes light up when they meet Jooheon's.

Hoseok's right behind him, a wide smile stretching his lips, and at this point Changkyun just pushes the door completely open to let them hover. "Soccer at the gym, you guys wanna come?"

"That sounds like fun," Changkyun says, again with the tilted voice and raised eyebrows. "Right, Jooheon?"

"Well," Jooheon starts, ready to make an excuse because _Stranger Things_ is all queued up and he's made himself comfortable with his blankets already. He even made popcorn.

"It sounds fun," Changkyun says, decidedly, and then at Hoseok and Kihyun, adds, "Can you guys wait downstairs? We gotta get dressed. It was a Pajama-Saturday but no more, my friends! It's soccer time! Jooheon, pumpkin, get ready."

Kihyun and Hoseok smile tiny amused smiles and then they're leaving, Changkyun closing the door behind them.

"But _Stranger Things_ ," Jooheon says lamely.

Changkyun sends him a look before looking through his hamper. "You need to get out there and face them. Get dressed, they're not gonna wait forever."

It's like the last part is supposed to be a dig; which actually works, all things considered.

Hoseok and Kihyun are standing by the stairwell when Jooheon and Changkyun get to the first floor. "You guys ready? We've been thinking about splitting into Young Team and Old Team, Minhyuk's gonna hate it but that just makes it all the better," Kihyun is saying, and Changkyun follows in step with him as they plan what other team names will piss Minhyuk off.

Hoseok and Jooheon stray back a little, their steps slower. Jooheon shoves his hands in his hoodie's front pocket and his chin in the collar; it's not necessarily warm yet, and Jooheon really hopes he doesn't catch a cold.

Eventually, Hoseok asks, "Is Sungjae still giving you shit?"

Jooheon blinks at him, surprised. "He was never giving me shit, not really. He's just hard to deal with as a TA. Most of us hate him, but he's pretty chill to hang out with when he's not, you know, being responsible and a know-it-all, I guess."

"Oh," Hoseok says, tilting his head. "Sounds like him, yeah. Did you finish your essay?"

"Uh, yeah, with, like, twenty minutes to spare." Jooheon smiles tiredly, shrugging. "Hopefully I didn't bullshit my way through it, I don't think I even proof-read it before sending it."

Hoseok chuckles gently, nudges their elbows together. "I'm sure you did great." Once in the gym, he asks, "Are you gonna play soccer with them?"

Jooheon raises an eyebrow, " _Them_? Are you not playing?"

Hoseok shakes his head, "Hurt my waist a couple of days ago, still hurts a bit, so I'll have to pass."

"Oh," Jooheon says, "sorry to hear that. I'm actually—I love soccer but I'm not feeling up to it right now?"

The smile on Hoseok's face is too—too _much_ , so bright, for a second Jooheon feels blinded by it. "We can keep each other company in the bleachers, then," he says, waving back at Hyunwoo who's already in the court kicking a ball around Hyungwon.

Jooheon nods, scratches at the inside of his wrist. "Yeah, I guess we can."

Changkyun sends him an unimpressed look when Jooheon announces he's sitting this one out. There's still an even number of players: Hyunwoo, Hyunsik, Seungkwan and Minhyuk in one team, and Kihyun, Changkyun, Hyungwon and a guy whose name may or may not be Seokmin in the other.

Jooheon's isn't really in the mood for Changkyun's knowing looks so he flips him off and cheers for the other team instead, while Hoseok yells unhelpful 'tips' and whistles loudly every time Hyunwoo runs in front of them. Jooheon relates because Hyunwoo is wearing basketball shorts and nothing much else and he's got some serious muscle definition going for him.

"We missed you last Friday," Hoseok says, voice quiet. He doesn't turn to look at Jooheon as he says this and Jooheon is a little glad because this way he can actually say something back without feeling like he's about to burst into flame.

Yesterday's conversation with Changkyun feels present and heavy on his shoulders; and Jooheon, for once, decides to listen to the little shit instead of overthinking every little thing as he normally would. He thinks of that party, of Hoseok and Kihyun kissing softly, thinks back to that night in Kihyun's room and the gentle way he and Hoseok held him and kissed him and touched him until Jooheon was sure there weren't enough hands to actually keep him anchored to the moment.

He looks at the court where Kihyun is cackling at Minhyuk's attempts to steal the ball from might-be-Seokmin and his lips stretch into a tiny smile, fond and amused.

When he looks sideways at Hoseok, his smile is pretty much the same.

Hoseok's pinky is resting so close to Jooheon's in between them on the bench. It takes very little for Jooheon to admit he wants to reach over and link their fingers together.

"Yeah," Jooheon breathes, feeling light and more grounded than he's ever been, "I missed you guys, too." At this Hoseok does turn to look at him and Jooheon holds his gaze.

They smile at each other and when they look back at the court Kihyun's looking at them with a tiny, pleased smile. It quickly turns into a pout as Minhyuk steals the ball from him.

 

 

(Later, as they head back for something to eat at the sandwich shop near the gym, Hoseok leaves his side to hang off Seungkwan to bribe him into paying for everyone. Kihyun is right there, though, slips into the space Hoseok just vacated next to Jooheon on the street as quick as anything, linking an arm with Jooheon.

"Hey," he says, smiling a little, and Jooheon smiles back with a greeting of his own, biting the inside of his cheek. Jooheon asks about his classes, asks if he's seen a C-section yet at the hospital and Kihyun laughs, shaking his head sadly because he's not quite there yet.

It doesn't occur to Jooheon until now to ask what Kihyun and Hoseok have going on, or how long it's been going on. He sways a little closer so the others a couple steps in front of them can't hear, tightening his hold on Kihyun's arm just so.

"Why didn't you ever tell me," he asks, and at Kihyun's curious hum, adds, "about you and Hoseok, I mean. That you're, you know, a thing."

Kihyun smiles a little, mouth tilted sideways as he looks in front of them, possibly at Hoseok walking ahead of them along with Hyunwoo, and shrugs the shoulder that's not pressed to Jooheon's own.

"We're not a thing, not really. Not in the way everyone expects, I think," Kihyun says softly. He exhales, his shoulders sagging a little. "But I guess we'd like to be." He twines his fingers with Jooheon's, squeezing softly, "We just feel like something's missing, sometimes."

Jooheon nods slowly, tummy filled with butterflies up to the base of his throat, blinks away from Kihyun's piercing gaze, and laughs—a bit too late, a bit too loud—when Minhyuk trips over his own feet and falls on his ass.)

 

+

 

Hoseok throws a party for his birthday Friday night. Jooheon's last class of the day runs late but Kihyun promises to pick him up even though Jooheon swears he can take a cab. Kihyun is a man of his word, though, and stubborn as all fucks on top of that; Jooheon finds him sitting on the hall's floor, right across from the door, phone in hand and fingers gliding quick over it as he texts away.

Jooheon sidesteps a lot of classmates before he reaches Kihyun, waves bye at some and calls 'see you later's at those who're most likely going to the party.

Kihyun locks his phone while looking up at Jooheon. He smiles as he gets to his feet. "Hey, all done?"

"Yeah, we ran a bit late, though, sorry," Jooheon winces, shouldering his bag. "You been here long?"

"No, it's only been, like, ten minutes. You ready to go?"

Jooheon looks down at his jacket, his plaid shirt and his (most likely) dirty jeans and then back up at Kihyun with a frown. "Should I change?"

Kihyun looks him over—it makes Jooheon flush a little—and shakes his head, "I think you look fine. Hoseok can drive us back to your room if you want to change, though? I mean, I honestly think you don't need to, but—"

"Hoseok's here?" Jooheon asks dumbly.

"Yeah," Kihyun nods, linking their arms together as they make their way to the doors. It's cozy and he's warm under his jacket and Jooheon can detect a hint of Hoseok's cologne from where they stand so close together. "We thought you'd like it, if we both came to pick you up."

Jooheon feels the flush reach the top of his ears and, strangely, it doesn't make him nervous in a bad way. "Did he leave his own birthday party to pick me up from class?"

Kihyun's laugh is breathy, and he almost knocks Jooheon into a pillar as he sways a little. "The things he'd do for you, Jooheon, honestly."

Jooheon flushes completely at this, a smile stretching his lips even though he tries his hardest to contain it. Kihyun looks giddy and equally flushed as they step off the building and into crisp, cold air, his hair ruffled and his chin digging into the scarf loosely wrapped around his neck. They walk the short distance to the spot where Hoseok's parked, Kihyun's hand in his now, and as they walk closer, Kihyun starts singing along to the song coming off the radio.

"Ah, I see that 'it's only a little bit of rum' is catching up to you, huh, Kihyun," Hoseok grins from behind the wheel. He rolls his eyes at Kihyun's indignant squawk. "Yeah, yeah, just get in. Hey, Jooheon."

Jooheon gets in the front seat when Kihyun sprawls himself all over the backseat. "You guys didn't have to come all the way here."

Hoseok shrugs, starting the car. "It was no big deal, we wanted to. Ready to go?"

Jooheon nods, "Yeah, let's go."

It's barely a five minute drive back to the house; Kihyun sings loudly to the song coming off the radio and Hoseok is chirpy as he tells Jooheon which of their friends are already at the party. Jooheon elbows him carefully over the center console, smiles a little.

"Didn't get a chance to say this earlier, but happy birthday."

Hoseok cracks a sideways smile and nods. "Thank you." He peers at Jooheon through the corner of his eye, "Where's my present, though?"

Jooheon purses his lips. "Isn't the thought what counts?"

"He's the present, Hoseok, don't be daft," Kihyun sing-songs from the backseat, and Jooheon sputters pathetically until he can manage a, "I am _not_ ," loud enough to be heard over Hoseok's laughter.

"I don't mind," Hoseok says with a flirty smile as he parks the car, "I kinda like the idea of you being my present."

Jooheon sighs, looking skyward, begging for patience, because he's either going to die of frustration or embarrassment and he'd really like it if Kihyun's mad-cackling wasn't the last thing he heard as he went.

"You're both horrible hyungs," he announces, and pushes the door open.

"But we love you," Kihyun cries. "Hey, can someone help me, I've fallen and I can't get up."

Kihyun isn't necessarily drunk yet but he's tipsy enough that they have to keep a close eye on him as they walk from the parking lot to the frat house, where loud music and singing are already spilling out through the open door and windows. A couple people spot Hoseok from the porch and shout his name in greeting and it's a whole thing to watch, how Hoseok goes from easy going to shy in a matter of seconds. Jooheon wants to reach out and maybe curl an arm around Hoseok's shoulders, keep him close and grounded, but Kihyun's proving difficult to climb up the four steps into the landing and someone's got to keep an eye on him.

"I think we should get him some water," Hoseok says, loud so he can be heard over the music as they walk to the living room.

Jooheon nods, "Yeah. I'll take him to the kitchen, you go celebrate your birthday."

"It's fine, I can get to the kitchen on my own—"

"I'll give you a hand, you don't have to—"

"I got this," Jooheon insists, holding onto Kihyun's sleeve so he doesn't sway too far away, "we'll catch up with you later. Okay?"

Hoseok doesn't look thrilled with the idea but then Minhyuk's got Hoseok in a headlock and drags him off to do who knows what to the loud cheering of everyone around. Jooheon tugs on Kihyun's jacket and Kihyun nods, a rueful smile stretching his lips as they navigate their way to the kitchen.

"I may have had a bit more of vodka than I originally thought," he confesses. "But it's only because it's a time for celebration and I was feeling celebratory."

The kitchen is empty except for a couple of girls looking through the fridge. Jooheon recognizes one of them from his Calculus class and she waves at him, smiling and tilting her head in Kihyun's direction. "Is he alright?" she asks; her name might be Eunseo.

"Yeah, he just needs some water," Jooheon nods. Eunseo and her friend throw sympathetic smiles at them and then they scurry off back to the party. "Come on, sit over here, yes, here," he says to Kihyun, who manages to sit on a stool without toppling over on his first try. Jooheon keeps an eye on him as he reaches for a clean solo cup and fills it with tap water.

Kihyun accepts the cup and takes a big gulp before putting it on the counter and then his cheek follows. Jooheon doesn't want to point out the counter might be dirty and full of spilled drinks because Kihyun looks rather comfortable and a little sleepy. Jooheon takes the other stool and sits there, watching Kihyun.

"We should dance," Kihyun mumbles without opening his eyes. "I wanna dance with Hoseok. And you. I wanna dance with both of you."

Jooheon smiles a little and pats Kihyun's hand where it rests near his cup. "We'll dance, I promise. You have to drink your water first. And maybe rest a little bit."

Kihyun's eyes open then, stare blearily at Jooheon. "You wanna dance with us, right?"

"Of course I do," Jooheon nods, tilting his head.

"Is that all you wanna do with us?" Kihyun's voice is very small, his words a little slurred, and honestly, how much did he have to drink, was no one watching him? His eyelashes move slowly as he blinks, fan out softly over the top of his pinking cheek.

Jooheon hasn't had a single drink yet. He's as sober as it gets right now and thinks it's really fucking huge, that he's about to admit to this—to them—for the very first time. "I wanna do everything with you guys," he says, holding onto Kihyun's gaze like a lifeline. He slumps onto the counter a little, smiling sideways. "Literally everything."

Kihyun's smile is so wide and pretty, even pressed to the counter, but it's Hoseok who says, "We want to do everything with you, too, you know."

Jooheon doesn't even startle. Hoseok's leaning against the door's threshold, smiling softly at them, arms crossed over his chest. He looks fond, hair slightly ruffled, so beautiful it makes Jooheon honestly lose a bit of breath as he sits up to look at him better. Jooheon's chest feels warm at the sight of these two boys, and when Hoseok steps close to wrap his left arm around Kihyun's waist and the right one around Jooheon's shoulders, it's like finally, fucking finally, Jooheon can breathe again.

"How are you feeling?" he asks Kihyun, who manages to sit up and lean back into Hoseok a little.

"Much better now," he says with a smile and a hand on Jooheon's knee. "Can we dance?"

"Can I get a drink first, though," Jooheon pipes in, twining his fingers with Kihyun’s as he looks up at Hoseok.

"Drinks first," Hoseok announces, "and then we dance. You're sticking to water, though," he tells Kihyun with a teasing smile, and yelps when Kihyun pinches the skin of his forearm. "Hey, no pinching the birthday boy!"

"I will do whatever the hell I want to the birthday boy," Kihyun says.

"Hyung, consent is so important in a relationship," Jooheon starts, and he and Hoseok laugh when Kihyun sputters indignantly as he tries to stand up and leave.

"Come on, let's dance, I'll go get us some drinks," Hoseok chuckles, and kisses Kihyun's temple first and then Jooheon's. He pulls away and heads back to the hall, still grinning at them over his shoulder, and Kihyun sighs (though he's smiling, too) and drags Jooheon after him.

They dance for one song, two songs, three—until Jooheon's pretty sure he's sweat a third of weight off at this point. Jooheon gets them more drinks in the middle of another song, could be the twentieth song they've danced to, it's hard to keep track. Jooheon watches them from the side for a bit as he catches his breath; they're holding each other close, slowly swaying off-beat as Kihyun whispers something in Hoseok's ear and Hoseok throws his head back to laugh, the sound probably starting somewhere in his tummy and spreading out across the room until Jooheon is certain he feels the aftershocks.

This—as he joins the two of them after getting his heart rate back in check, after getting the butterflies under his skin under control—is the moment Jooheon realizes he wants in on that. It's not even about the kissing, the kissing which was _good_ and better than Jooheon's able to put into words. He wants in on the softness, the simple and gentle way Hoseok and Kihyun touch and smile at each other when they think no one's looking.

He approaches them again, hands a Cuba libre to Kihyun and a vodka tonic for Hoseok. They both grin at him and kiss his cheeks at the same time, and wrap themselves around Jooheon to continue their lazy swaying. They dance just like that, Jooheon sandwiched between them, grinning and laughing and yelling the lyrics because it makes Kihyun laugh and Hoseok smile against the back of his neck.

Hoseok says, "You two look good together," in Jooheon's ear and it feels nice, his lips there; he kisses behind Jooheon's ear and holds his waist all firm and nice and Jooheon wonders. He remembers Kihyun's words— _we feel like something's missing_ , and with a pounding heart wonders if he could _be_ that, if he could be the missing piece in the soft-edged puzzle that is Kihyun and Hoseok.

They head back up to Hoseok's room a bit after midnight (Hyunwoo is suspiciously never in his room when there's a party, even though Jooheon's sure he saw him downstairs drinking in the kitchen; "he's either joined a cult or eloped with Bora," Hoseok shrugs) and they hang out in Hoseok's bed, all three of them cramped into the tiny mattress, limbs everywhere, and if Jooheon falls asleep while making out with Hoseok as Kihyun gently kisses the back of his neck, no one needs to know.

 

 

In the morning Jooheon wakes up—again—to the rustling of clothes and Kihyun's breathy laughter except it feels closer this time because they've fallen asleep on Hoseok's bed in a tangled mess of limbs— _again_.

Kihyun and Hoseok are making out lazily next to him, Kihyun's body half on top of Hoseok's, Hoseok's arm secured around his waist to keep him comfortably in place.

So Jooheon just watches, because it feels like they've forgotten he's lying right there so he might as well.

Jooheon feels arousal slowly spread through his body, not even urgent, just… there. Warm like a blanket, like Kihyun's fingers, like Hoseok's lips. Eventually Kihyun pulls away, and he immediately looks at him, pink, swollen lips spreading into a grin. "I knew you were awake."

"You two make out really loudly, did you know," Jooheon says around a yawn. "You woke me up that time too, that time I slept on Hyunwoo's bed with you, Kihyun, remember? Why can't you two suck face quietly?"

"But then you'd miss all this," Hoseok grins cheekily at him.

It makes Jooheon snort—he's got a point, though—and burrow deeper into the pillow under his face. He closes his eyes, ready to go back to sleep and deal with these two later, when Kihyun touches the side of his face softly, fingertips barely there on Jooheon's cheek.

Jooheon peeks an eye open, find Kihyun's face closer on the pillow and Hoseok's chin hooked over his shoulder. They're both watching him closely. "What is it?" he asks, wonders if he should be panicking because this is the moment they kick him out of bed or—

"We like you," Kihyun murmurs, "we like you and we want to be with you, we both want that, we feel like," he stops to lick his lips, and his hand moves to curl around Jooheon's. Behind him, Hoseok's eyes are gentle and his lips are curved upwards, small but hopeful. "We feel complete," Kihyun exhales, "when you're with us. We feel _right._ "

There's yellow-ish light filtering through the open curtains. It makes the both of them glow and Jooheon's going to take a wild leap here but he thinks, given enough time, he could fall in love with them so hard he wouldn't know left from right.

"I," Jooheon starts, his mouth going dry, heart beating so fast Jooheon can feel it in the soles of his feet. "I feel the same way." Kihyun's fingers tighten slightly around his and Jooheon adds, "I meant what I said, last night. Everything, you know."

"We want that, too," Hoseok says. "We know it's…" he chuckles, but it's not a happy chuckle, it's more like a tired, self-deprecating huff and Jooheon hates it, the sound of it, coming from Hoseok. "We know it's a lot. But we can make it work. One step at a time, all three of us. Right?" He directs the last part at Kihyun first and then at Jooheon.

Jooheon feels his chest constrict and then ease off, like a painful heartbeat, and then it goes back to normal, breaths steady, heart settled between his ribs. "Yes." he says, with certainty that surprises him, and leans in until his forehead lands on someone's shoulder—Kihyun's, because he's closer—and there are two pairs of hands on him, on his shoulder, his hair, between his shoulder blades.

It feels right, Jooheon thinks, and then decides to stop thinking. He hums and smiles against Kihyun's chest, and feels Hoseok's fingers in his hair, gently scratching at his scalp. He lets out a deep sigh, and it's like a whole month worth of stress lifts off his chest.

He wrinkles his nose a little. "Don't do that, I'll fall asleep again," he mutters.

Hoseok's touch doesn't falter, but he does feel rather than see Kihyun moving about on the bed until he's back in Jooheon's space, pressed along his left side as Hoseok closes in from his right, and the moment he feels Kihyun's lips on the corner of his mouth it's like electricity travels down his spine in a slow, tortuous curl.

"It's okay, we can stay in bed all day if we want," Kihyun says softly.

Hoseok nods and his fringe tickles Jooheon's temple. "That sounds like a plan."

"Mhm," Jooheon agrees, not bothering to open his eyes because he's rather comfortable and Hoseok's touch is hypnotic, Kihyun's lips even more so.

 

**—the end.**

**Author's Note:**

> the title is, in fact, a line from britney spears' '3'.


End file.
